Being an adult and why it's awesome/awful

Hey everybody!

Today I'm taking my blog to a media-less direction, and I'm going to list the 7 things I learned about being an adult so far. Some of them are awesome, some of them are terrible. I have to admit that as much as I miss being an irresponsible college student, being an adult has its perks.

7. Doing your own shopping is great

Heck yeah Costco, you're awsome

I don't know if you could consider this a good or a bad thing, but I love doing my own food shopping. Yes of course it's easier at school when everything is prepared for you, but sometimes I get cravings that I used to be too lazy to satisfy. I could be in the mood for pasta (not shitty dining hall pasta, really pasta) and instead of going to the supermarket and buying it, I'd just settle for whatever they had on campus. Now I don't have the luxury of settling, so I buy the things I want and eat the things I want. It's healthier (maybe) and makes me feel better about my, albeit incredibly poor, eating habits. Yay adulthood!
I've also found Costco to be one of the single greatest stores of all time. A big yay for that one.

6. Not being surrounded by friends 24/7 isn't great
This is both a good and bad thing. It might just be me, but I don't have too many friends that live in my immediate vicinity since I've moved out of my parents place. That means if I want to hang out with a friend it usually requires effort, something I don't like to exert often. That leads to a lot of boring weekends where my highlight is not sleeping for 13 hours and doing something productive. So while it's a bummer that I don't always get to have as much fun on the weekends like I used to, it means that my work no longer suffers. Now on Saturdays and Sundays I can actually do some work to put me ahead at my job (which was the biggest lie I was ever told in college, "work on the weekends so you won't do as much during the week."). I guess that's a yay adulthood for being productive, but also a boo adulthood for taking away a chunk of my social life.

5. BILLS are awful

Go home bills, you're drunk

Bills are the worst. I have pretty much all of them set up electronically, so when I open up my email on the days that my electric bill rolls in I cry a bit on the inside. You take a lot for granted when you're at school, mainly things like heat and water. I could shower for 20-30 minutes easy when at school, now it's more of a rare occurrence (although I do indulge in long showers more often than I should.) Electricity is a huge drain on your income as well, watching TV or playing video games for 4 hours straight now affects your bill just as much as your brain. At school I could care less about marathoning 5 episodes of Game of Thrones because I didn't pay for the absurd amount of electricity it takes to do that. Bills snap you back to reality, even if they do teach you "fiscal responsibility" and all that jazz. Boo adulthood.

4. Watching your bank account grow (sort of) is very nice
While I did save some money while I was in school a good portion of my paychecks went to either booze or the occasional dinner with friends off campus. That being said I didn't really accumulate much in terms of savings while in school. Now, the total opposite is happening. My paychecks are much bigger and I don't spend all my money on luxuries, so each pay day I actually see my account increase instead of staying relatively the same. So yay adulthood for sure. I did notice that there is a certain threshold that you reach with your earnings, once you've hit a certain amount in your bank account it's hard to get more on top of it. Bills and other expenses cause your account to stay at close to the same level, even if that level is more money than you've ever had. Growth has its limits, and to that I say boo. Having money to spend though, that's a big yay for adulthood.

3.  A lack of physical activity is common, and bad

Me basically every day

This may just be me, but I have become downright slothful after graduating. Especially during the winter it's hard to find the drive to work out. I've played organized sports my whole life, and that lack of structure makes it hard to get out and exercise. There are a lot of "after work" type leagues that I can join, but that requires money and much more effort in terms of transportation. It could be that I was just really lazy all along and the level of physical activity I did in school was solely a result of my environment, but I don't want to believe that's who I am. Putting in that extra effort to get just as much, if not less exercise doesn't seem worth it to me. For that I have become more couch-potato like every day. I hope that warmer weather brings more exercise, but for now boo adulthood.

2. The hours of 6pm-whenever I go to bed are glorious
When you're at school the general schedule is class, then work, then fun, then bed. It differs from person to person (mine being class, nap, goof off, work, bed), but in the adult world your daily schedule is pretty rigid. You wake up, go to work, go home, do whatever you want, then bed. Your responsibilities basically end as soon as you leave the workplace, and those glorious 6 or so hours you have after work can be spent however you want. It's weird to think that after graduating you actually have less responsibilities, but at least for me that's totally true. That's the biggest yay for adulthood I can give.

1. Adulthood isn't as bad as I thought it would be

Welcome to Adulthood!
Where everything might not be awful.

Have low expectations, it honestly helps. You hear these horror stories of people not able to find jobs, living at home for extended periods of time, wishing they could just go back to school, and above all being miserable. If you really go into graduation thinking like that than actually getting a job will feel so much sweeter. I'm generally an optimist, a fairly large one at that, and I have serious pessimism going into the working world. So when I finally got hired, got my own apartment, started making my own money, and exercising my freedom as a working adult everything felt so much better. Sometimes I wish I could go back to school and make everything "easy" again, but for now the adult world has treated me well. Let's just hope it stays that way.

Dat update doe

Hello all!

It's been a little while since I've posted anything, mainly because I'm busy and that last post kind of ruined my desire to rank things. I am back though, and now that my weeks are slightly less busy (LIES) I'll set aside some time to write a blog post!

A little background before you read this post: I still play Pokemon. Like, a lot. And I play competitively in online tournaments and the like. It's not necessarily my "guilty pleasure" but it's something most people don't really know about me. Since Pokemon X and Y have come out I got a resurgence of desire to play, so of course I bought the 3DS and Pokemon X and there goes approximately 250 hours of my life. On top of that, I play on this website (pokemonshowdown.com, FUCKING GO THERE IF YOU PLAY POKEMON), and that takes more precious hours out of my day. Needless to say, I play a lot of Pokemon.

Anyways, on to my list - a ranking of the Pokemon generations and the games included in each one. I'm not a genwunner, I believe each generation has given us something positive, whether you think the Pokemon look dumb is irrelevant.

6. Generation 4
What it gave us: New evolutions for Dusclops, Magmar, Electabuzz, etc... AND internet connectivity
What was bad: The legendaries, the plot, the main villain/evil organization

Generation 4 series

Generation 4 (aka Diamond, Pearl and Platinum) gave us very little in terms of game development. Yes it added some cool new Pokemon like Luxray and Gastrodon and the new evolutions for some of the OG Pokemon, but in terms of storyline and plot development it's weak as hell. The main villainous group is flawed in their mission, destroy and remake the universe by summoning one of the legendary Pokemon (Dialga or Palkia). DESTROY AND REMAKE THE UNIVERSE. Yeah, that makes sense.

The best part of generation 4 was the internet connectivity piece and it's affect on competitive battling. Giving players the ability to share friend codes and battle/trade with people around the world opened up Pokemon to new meta games and techniques. It jump started the influx of competitive battling seen in later generations.

Game rank:
13. Platinum
12. Diamond/Pearl
8. Heart Gold/Soul Silver

5. Generation 5
What it gave us: Weather based teams/more competitive battling meta game, the best sequel series, harder in-game play, unlimited TM use
What was bad: The main villain (N) and the villainous group

The biggest gripe I had about this generation was N, the second antagonist introduced on top of the main villainous group (team plasma). His goal was to separate humans and Pokemon by splitting them into different worlds. What happened to the good old days where criminals would simply steal Pokemon and sell them for money? I miss the simplicity of Team Rocket. Also, can we please stop with Dragon type legendaries? Seriously, it's getting annoying.

Generation 5 series

The best part of generation 5 was by far the competitive play. Weather based teams ruled the online world, and it made battling fun. The sequel series, Black and White 2, was also the best post-core game sequel made, as it didn't just slap a new color on the box and give you a similar plot line. It actually focused on events two years after the ending of Black and White, which was really cool. Also the in-game Pokemon were way more leveled up, making strategy a necessity for actually beating the main plot-line.

Game Rank:
11. Black 2/White 2
10. Black/White

4. Generation 3
What it gave us: Running shoes, VS Seeker, Battle tower, much enhanced graphics, Pokemon contests
What was bad: Secret bases, not making the Sp. ATK/ATK distinction

Generation 3 series

Hey Gamefreak, just because my move is a fire type doesn't automatically make it a special move. Fire PUNCH doesn't seem like a special type move to me, but hey what do I know?
Also, let's talk about secret bases. Who thought that was a good idea? Yeah I get the whole "promote play between trainers without internet connectivity," but a secret base? LAME.

You know what's awesome? Running. I don't know how I lived without it. You know what else is awesome? The VS Seeker, possibly the greatest item ever created in Pokemon. Fuck grinding on wild Pokemon, use the VS Seeker and battle trainers you've already battled. And their Pokemon get stronger the more you battle them! Genius!
Also Pokemon contests. Strangely addictive, way too much fun. My Aron was a fucking masterpiece.

Game Rank:
9. Ruby/Sapphire
7. Emerald
3. Fire Red/Leaf Green

3. Generation 6
What it gave us: The most complex meta game so far, easy IV checker, possibility of a sequel similar to BW2, mega evolution, easy egg hatching, wonder trade
What was bad: Weather was nerfed beyond all belief, not too many new Pokemon, fucking fairy type

In previous generations special abilities that brought in weather conditions (drought, drizzle, snow warning, sand stream) were permanent on the field until another competing weather condition came into play. And that was awesome. The amount of teams that included a Politoed or a Ninetales in BW2 were through the roof with weather teams being so popular. Now? Now it lasts 5-8 turns like it used to and weather teams have disappeared. Poof, there goes that meta game.

Generation 6 series

Also I despise fairy types. They are so over-powered it's unbelievable. Weak to steel and poison? Oh cool, two fairly uncommon types. Now you need to make sure you run a fairy counter or you're screwed.

You know what's really cool? Mega evolution. It brings relevance back to some long forgotten Pokemon like Kangaskhan, Mawile and Amphoros. They have super cool abilties and typing and totally shake up the tier system, but in a good way.
Breeding is also insanely easy now, you have a reliable IV checker in the game and hatching eggs is super easy (bike in circles around Lumiose city).
There's talk of a potential sequel (like BW2, Platinum, Emerald, Crystal, Yellow) that includes a totally different region. WHAT. Like, new Pokemon and new routes and basically a whole new game. That's mixing it up for the better.
But do you know what the best thing about generation 6 is? Wonder trade. It's the best! You can trade Pokemon via wifi with a random trainer in the world, and it can be any Pokemon you want! I can trade a level 1 Caterpie and get a shiny Blaziken in return! You can spend hours just trading away doubles and/or poorly bred Pokemon to get a surprise in return! That's genius.

Game Rank:
6. X/Y

2. Generation 1
What it gave us: Everything
What was bad about it: Zubat

Generation 1 series

Generation 1 is the start of everything, so it gave us the most by far. I really don't know what to say about it other than it's awesome and set the stage for Gamefreak's future success. There is one problem...ZUBAT. I had nightmares about Mt. Moon and the sheer amount of Zubat in such a small space. Other than that, amazing.


Game Rank:
1. Yellow
5. Red/Blue

1. Generation 2
What it gave us: Breeding, Berries, Dark type, Steel type, 16 gyms, Night/Day, Apricorns/specialized Pokeballs, Mt. Silver post-game
What was bad about it: Whitney's Miltank

Generation 2 series

Generation 2 was an amazing followup to generation 1. They added in so many awesome features like breeding (and the rise of PUNCHZAM!), making your own Pokeballs, fighting all 8 Johto and Kanto gyms, and giving Pokemon berries. You also got to play around with 2 new types in steel and dark, making teams far more diverse and cutting down psychic Pokemon's dominance. You also had to plan your Pokedex searching for night and day, because now only certain Pokemon appeared at different times of the day. It was such a jump from generation 1 that everything seemed so fresh and cool.
Also, the fight on top of Mt. Silver against Red was by far the coolest thing Pokemon has ever done.

And then Whitney and her stupid Miltank ruined your hopes and dreams. Hardest gym battle by far. Other than that, the game was STELLAR.

Game Rank:
2. Gold/Silver
4. Crystal


So there you have it, my ranking of the Pokemon generations and the individual games released within them. Do you agree, or are you a "Genwunner?" Do you even play Pokemon? WHY AREN'T YOU ON SHOWDOWN YET?

Keep it cool guys.

The granddaddy of them all

HELLO READERS!

I finally compiled the list of my top 100 favorite songs of all time. A lot went in to making this list, it took way more thought than I had previously imagined. Special thanks go to Calvin Conklin who gave me the idea, and you can read his cool blog (that is CLEARLY a rip off of my own) here.
He apparently has 2 blogs so I guess you can look at the other one too.

Without further adieu, here they are!

OFFICIAL POWER RANKING OF AJ ALONZO'S TOP 100 FAVORITE SONGS

100-91: The "just made the list-ers"

100. Caillou Rap - Lil’ B

99. On The Radio - Regina Spektor

98. Show Me Your Genitals - Jon Lajoie

97. All I Do is Win - DJ Khaled

96. Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America

95. Always - Erasure

94. Holiday - Vampire Weekend

93. Wonderful - Gary Go

92. Mind Your Manners - Chiddy Bang

91. The Message - Grandmaster Flash

90-81: The "I'm a fan of this, but I'm not shouting it form the rooftop-ers"

90. Whiskey Hangover - Godsmack

89. I'll Make A Man Out Of You - Danny Osmond/Disney

88. Santana DVX - The Lonely Island

87. Insane In The Brain - Cypress Hill

86. Moment of Truth - Gangstarr

85. Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National

84. Remember The Name - Fort Minor ft. Styles of Beyond

83. D.A.N.C.E. - Justice

82. I Love It - Icona Pop

81. Office Musik - Lil' Wayne

80-71: The "I've been known to jam out to these on a regular basis-ers"

80. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous - Good Charlotte

79. Fortune Faded - Red Hot Chili Peppers

78. Reptilia - The Strokes

77. Where'd You Go? - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

76. Pompeii - Bastille

75. Limelight - Rush

74. Wannabe - Spice Girls

73. Soundtrack 2 My Life - Kid Cudi

72. Joker & The Thief - Wolfmother

71. Les Os - The Unicorns

70-61: The "Now we're getting somewhere-ers"

70. It's Tricky - Run DMC

69. It's Time - Imagine Dragons

68. Another Irish Drinking Song - DaVinci's Notebook

67. Fight of the Century - Keynes vs. Hayek (Round 2)

66. Summergirls - LFO

65. On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz

64. What I Got - Sublime

63. Awesome - XV

62. Foux Du FaFa - Flight of the Conchords

61. Sail - AWOLNATION

60-51: The "these are getting tougher-ers"

60. Icky Thump - The White Stripes

59. Misery Business - Paramore

58. Come Together - The Beatles

57. I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage

56. Two Weeks of Hip Hop - Dead Prez vs. Grizzly Bear

55. Ways To Go - Grouplove

54. Spaceman - The Killers

53. Short Skirt/Long Jacket - Cake

52. White Flag - Gorillaz Feat. Bashy, Kano & The National Orchestra For Arabic Music

51. And We Danced - Macklemore ft. Ziggy Stardust

50-41: The "middle of the pack-ers"

50. Unchained (The Payback/Untouchable) - James Brown, 2pac

49. Die Young - Ke$ha

48. Ignition Remix - R. Kelly

47. Right Above It - Lil' Wayne & Drake (shout out to Adithya Manohar for playing this on repeat 9001 times)

46. Lithium - Nirvana

45. Ignorance - Paramore

44. Moves - The New Pornographers

43. YES - LMFAO

42. Wake Me Up - Avicii

41. Womyn - Heems

40-31: The "I regularly sing these in the shower-ers"

40. Shining Star - Earth, Wind and Fire

39. This Year - The Mountain Goats

38. I Feel Fantastic - Jonathan Coulton

37. 19-2000 - Gorillaz (Soulchild remix)

36. Where's Your Head At? - Basement Jaxx

35. Superfast Jellyfish - Gorillaz

34. Get Lucky - Daft Punk st. Pharell Williams

33. In Too Deep - Sum 41

32. Backpackers - Childish Gambino

31. Thrift Shop - Macklemore ft. Ryan Lewis

30-21: The "this is way too hard now-ers"

30. Enormous Penis - DaVinci's Notebook

29. Say It Ain't So - Weezer

28. Ticket To Ride - The Beatles

27. Enter Galactic - Kid Cudi

26. Jellybones - The Unicorns

25. Chelsea Dagger - The Fratellis

24. I'm Bo Yo - Bo Burnham

23. Sing Me Spanish Techno - The New Pornographers

22. Mr. Blue Sky - ELO

21. Some Nights - Fun.

20-11: The "you were so close-ers"

20. Opposite of Adults - Chiddy Bang

19. Wavin' Flag - K'naan

18. Hey Ya! - Outkast

17. Can't Hold Us - Macklemore ft. Ryan Lewis

16. We Are Your Friends - Justice vs. Simian

15. Invaders Must Die - The Prodigy

14. El Scorcho - Weezer

13. Adams Song - Blink 182

12. Stand Up - The Prodigy

11. Midnight Life - The White Panda

10-1: The "cream of the crop-ers"

10. Body Movin' - Beastie Boys (Fatboy Slim remix)

9. Who Did That To You - John Legend

8. All Star - Smashmouth

7. U.F.C. - XV

6. Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runner

5. December - Collective Soul

4. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

3. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz

2. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived - Weezer

1. Rough Gem - Islands

And there we have it! Those are the 100 songs that I would consider to be my favorites. Feel free to rip my list apart, but remember it's all based on opinion. What's everyone else's favorite song? Comment below!

Dat update doe

To anyone who actually reads this blog:

I will be taking a mini-hiatus from posting to work on a monstrous list, my top 100 songs of all time! As you can imagine, this will take some time. In the absence of posting lists, I will satiate you with one more before I embark on my adventure. Enjoy the best genwun Pokemon (excluding legendaries of course)!

OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS OF TOP 10 MOST BADASS GENERATION ONE POKEMON

10. Nidoking

9. Blastoise

8. Sandslash

7. Dragonite

6. Dugtrio

5. Charizard

4. Jolteon

3. Alakazam

2. Arcanine

1. Haunter

See you in a couple of weeks...

Albums to get for your friends!

Hey everyone!

It's going to be a slow work week up until Christmas, so I figured it would be a good time for a blog post. No OC though, I'm going to tweak one of my older lists. It's my top 10 favorite albums list! Maybe they'd make a good gift this holiday season? Hohoho.

The way I rated these albums was on 2 separate 10 point scales, and one 5 point scale.I would then add those scores together to reach a total score out of 25. The categories I graded were:

• Consistency (out of 10) - Do the songs follow the same patterns throughout the album? Or is it a mash-up of different styles the don't necessarily work together? The more consistent the album is the higher the score.
• The studs to duds ratio (out of 10) - How many songs on the album are of the utmost quality? Home many are on the low end of quality? As the ratio moves in favor of the standouts, the score goes up.
• Album Art (out of 5) - Though it doesn't necessarily play in to the quality of the music, it shows the effort that the artist put into making the album good throughout. Also I didn't really have a good third category.

I had previously listed and ranked my favorite albums, but I'll go ahead and re-rank them according to this system. My list previously was:

1. Plastic Beach - Gorillaz
2. Camp - Childish Gambino
3. Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone? - The Unicorns
4. Man on the Moon - Kid Cudi
5. All Day - Girl Talk
6. Astro Lounge -  Smashmouth
7. Invaders Must Die - The Prodigy
8. Enema of the State - Blink 182
9. Riot! - Paramore
10. Pinkerton - Weezer

Let's Re-rank them!

Pinkerton - 16/25

Consistency Score - 7/10

Most of this album is upbeat, fun to sing with songs that capture Weezer's style pretty well. A few slower paced songs are nice to break it up, but man Rivers sounds real sad at the end of this album. If the whole album were like "El Scorcho" I might have a heart attack, but it would at least make me feel better about myself than if I listened to "Butterfly" a few times. Still rocking consistently enough for a 7.

Studs:Duds - 6/10

Studs - The Good Life, El Scorcho, Pink Triangle, Tired of Sex, Why Bother

Duds - No Other One

Album Art - 3/5

While the art for this album is cool and has an interesting history behind it, it really doesn't have much to do with the music. It's print 16/53 in the series "The Fifty-three Stations of the Tokkaido" which depicts the journey on the Tokkaido road from Edo to Kyoto, Japan. Not very relevant to a 90's grunge band. But it sill looks pretty cool, and you could have fooled me into saying the scene depicted was a far off land named Pinkerton.

Riot! - 18/25

Consistency Score - 8/10

This album screams Paramore. If you wanted to know what kind of music they, played this album is all you need. They have a couple of slower, vocalist centered songs to show off Haley Williams' talent but otherwise kind of ruin the vibe. Other than that it's really good throughout and makes for a great album.

Studs:Duds - 5/10

Studs - That's What You Get, Misery Business, Crushcrushcrush, Fences, Born for This

Duds - When it Rains, We Are Broken

Album Art - 5/5

This art really captures Paramore's essence, emo/punk rock with a little bit of flair. It's simple, but still says a whole lot about the band's style. Sometimes simple is better, remember to KISS it!

Enema of the State - 20/25

Consistency Score - 9/10

This album is chock full of consistently up-tempo beats. It's a model of consistency for other albums, mainly because DeLonge has such a distinct voice that resonates through the whole thing. There are no songs that I actively dislike on the album, they all work.

Studs:Duds - 5/10

Studs- Adam's Song, What's My Age Again?, All the Small Things,

Duds - None

Album Art - 6/5

I'm not even joking, this is the best album cover ever. What screams "Enema of the State" more than a nurse fitting into her glove nice and tight? Also, apparently Blink didn't know that the model for the cover was a porn star. They just "happened to pick her." Alright guys...

Invaders Must Die - 18/25

Consistency Score - 10/10

This album is so consistent throughout it actually became a criticism. "They just do the same old shit." Well guess what, I happen to like this shit a lot, and they do it really well. The only song I don't really want to listen to is Warrior's Dance, and even that follows the same model as the rest of the tracks.

Studs:Duds -  5/10

Studs - Invaders Must Die, Take Me To The Hospital, Stand Up, Run With the Wolves

Duds - Warrior's Dance

Album Art - 3/5

It captures the group's hardcore mentality, but it's not really too flashy. Sometimes simple is better, and this cover has a good balance to it. Plus, orange is my favorite color.

Astro Lounge - 22/25

Consistency Score - 8/10

There is honestly not a single song on this album I don't like. That being said, songs like "Home" and "Fallen Horses" aren't really in the same category as most of the others on the album. A few songs have a different feel than the other California surfer based ska rock that's so prevalent throughout, but it's not a very drastic shift. Definitely workable.

Studs:Duds - 10/10

Studs - Diggin' Your Scene, I Just Wanna See, All Star, Then The Morning Comes, Come On Come On, Can't Get Enough Of You Baby

Duds - None

Album Art - 4/5

It actually makes sense, has the right amount of pizzazz and still comes across as simple. Plus, that's a place I would like to party.

All Day - 20/25

Consistency Score - 10/10

It's pretty tough to rate this for consistency when it's really all one song. If they are broken up however, it's still pretty masterful. The mash-ups that comprise each track are very artfully done, and each one fits the mold for the album. When you combine them all together it's an hour of well put together music that flows from track to track.

It's pretty hard to come up with a ratio for this album, seeing as there aren't really any bad songs. I will however say that, without a doubt, "Triple Double" is the best track that Girl Talk has ever put out. 

Studs:Duds: 8/10

Studs - Triple Double

Duds - None really

Album Art - 2/5

It's a fairly cool image, but the art doesn't have much to do with the overall theme. Is there a theme?

Man on the Moon - 19/25

Consistency Score - 8/10

This album is pretty consistent throughout, telling the story of a struggling Kid Cudi and his pretty sad life. Although the album is fairly depressing overall, it mixes in some up-tempo beats that make it more bearable. Even though it detracts from the overall consistency, it follows the story that Cudi creates. The five acts progress through his life smoothly, with each song taking the next step towards the end.  

Stud:Duds - 7/10

Studs - Soundtrack 2 My Life, Day N' Nite, Enter Galactic, Pursuit of Happiness, Up Up and Away, Sky Might Fall, Make her Say

Duds - Hyyerr

Album Art - 4/5

This is some pretty sweet art, it definitely follows the name of the album and has a smooth gradient from face to moon. The colors also blend really well to give a solid contrast between man and moon.

Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone? - 21/25

Consistency Score - 9/10

WWCOHWWG is full of similar tempos and beats, and it makes for one heck of an album. It has that screechy indie rock feel in each song, and even though a few slower tempos are put in, the feel of the songs are consistent. 

Studs:Duds - 8/10

Studs - Jellybones, I Was Born a Unicorn, Les Os, Inoculate the Innocuous, Sea Ghost

Duds - None

Album Art - 4/5

I'm a big fan of this artwork. It speaks to the absolute insanity that is this group. They're unpredictable Canadian hipsters. Also unicorns and rainbows go hand in hand. 

Camp - 19/25

Consistency Score - 9/10

Glover really weaves his style into each one of the songs on this album, which creates an atmosphere of consistency. His signature comedic lyrics shows through in each track, making a complete work of music.

Studs:Duds - 7/10

Studs -Bonfire, Heartbeat, Fire Fly, Outside, Sunrise, Backpackers, L.E.S.

Duds - Letter Home

Album Art - 3/5

The cover makes sense, but it's not really anything special. It's about as mediocre as it gets, but it doesn't distract the listener or take away from the music. It's simple, but a little too simple.

Plastic Beach - 22/25
Consistency Score  - 10/10
One of the reasons that this album is on this list in the first place is due to its amazing consistency. I absolutely love the feel that you get throughout, whether it's the crazy synth pop beats or the heavy rap, it speaks the same language. The style of music is consistent throughout, and even though "Sweepstakes" basically ruins this album entirely it still has the same islandy feel that you get from the rest of the tracks. As much as it pains me to say that.

Studs:Duds - 8/10
Studs - Welcome To The World Of The Plastic Beach, White Flag, Stylo, Superfast Jellyfish, Empire Ants, On Melancholy Hill, Broken, To Binge, Glitter Freeze, Rhinestone Eyes
Duds - Sweepstakes, Cloud of Unknowing

Album Art - 4/5
I really like the art for this album. It's incredibly Gorillaz-esque, and relates to the whole concept in a simple way. It's very detailed, but at the same time simplistic in it's idea. There are also 3 other covers for the album, depicting the same scene at different times of the day. Cool.

So there you have it, all of the albums re-ranked based on the new criteria I've set. Here's the list re-ranked.
1. Plastic Beach - 22/25
2. Astro Lounge - 22/25
3. Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone? - 21/25
4. All Day - 20/25
5. Enema of the State - 20/25
6. Camp - 19/25
7. Man on the Moon - 19/25
8. Invaders Must Die - 18/25
9. Riot! - 18/25
10. Pinkerton - 16/25

Top 6 Astronauts

Yes, you read that right. Top 6 astronauts. Why you ask? The answer is simple.
MYSTERY GOOGLE.
Well technically Mystery Seeker, but whatever. The concept is you search for something like you normally would on Google, but instead of getting your search results you get a different users results. So when I typed in "give me something to rank" the first response was naturally "astronauts." When I typed in "give me a number" the first response was 6.

So here you go, the top 6 astronauts of all time.

6. Buzz Aldrin

Dat foot

Guys, Buzz Aldrin was really cool. Yeah yeah yeah, he was the SECOND guy to walk on the moon and all, but he had a really interesting life. Did you know that he turned down a full ride to MIT to go to West Point? I don't know to many people who would do that. Buzz was also the voice behind the famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" quote, one of the most iconic quotes of all time. His foot has forever left its mark on the surface of the moon.
Buzz was the first person to take communion on the moon, which is a pretty cool thing to brag about. On top of that, the food and drink he consumed for communion were the first food and drink ever consumed on the moon. SUCK IT ARMSTRONG.

Ok enough about people, let's get down to the true heroes. ANIMALS IN SPACE.

5. Albert II
Albert II was the second monkey in space, and unlike that bitch Albert I he didn't suffocate during the flight. No, Albert II made it the whole fucking trip and then died on impact when parachuting back down to earth. He was the first monkey in space, as his rocket achieved a height of 83 miles. He's a true American Hero.

4. Strelka

Yup, they have their own movie

Strelka was part of a spaceship full of animals aboard Sputnik 5 that successfully made a round trip into space. Paired with her canine buddy Belka, they became wildly popular among Soviets and Americans alike. Strelka ended up having 6 puppies post space travel (not with Belka), one of which was given to Caroline Kennedy by Khruschnev. Their puppy descendants still live today. BADASS.

3. Arabella
Done as a student project by Judy Miles in good old Lexington, MA, several spiders were sent into space on the Skylab 3 mission*. The goal was to see whether or not web creation would be hampered by the low gravity of space. Arabella the spider finished one web, and then had it torn down by the astronauts so she could build another one. She gave them a metaphorical middle finger and built a more elaborate second web. Then Arabella died of dehydration. Now that's a tearjerker.

2. Félicette 
Félicette the cat was sent into space by France in 1963. She survived 15 minutes in space and a parachute descent. Félicette was a monumental success due to the fact that she actually cooperated, as most cats would have ripped the astronauts to pieces before going into space. Apparently Felix was supposed to go instead of Félicette, but he escaped prior to the launch. Congratulations Felix, on affirming cat stereotypes. Dick.

1. Ham the chimp

Ham returning from space

Ham (or, depending on who you speak to, No. 65 or Chop Chop Chang) was probably the most successful chimp in space. Not only did he survive the trip, he lived to the ripe old age of 26. He spent the last 17 years of his life at the North Carolina Zoo being coddled and waited on like a king. Ham had a simple task, check reaction times in space. He had to pull a lever after being shown a specific stimuli (a blue light in this case); failure to do so resulted in a mild shock while successfully pulling the lever got him a banana pellet. His testing proved that tasks could be preformed in space, and Ham was a pioneer when it came to experiments conducted in orbit. Ham was given a proper burial, and his skeleton now resides along the remains of CIVIL WAR SOLDIERS. That's KOABD. Ham, you're a real hero.




* It is the opinion of the author that all spiders should be shot into space and/or killed with fire.

B-List movies!

You know what's great? Movies that are so bad, that they're good. Or at least good enough to laugh at them (notice how I didn't say with them). B-list movies can be some of the best, and I'm no exception to enjoying them. Here are 7 solid B-listers that will shake your faith in the movie industry.

7. Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)
Budget: $70,000,000
Grossed: $10,956,379
Holy hell this is a real movie. And they really sucked 70 million dollars into it. If you're looking for a night of absolute hilarity, please watch this movie. The sheer unrealistic nature of what is happening makes for a fun night (unless you believe in the mythical background, than I apologize for insulting your beliefs).

6. Time Bandits (1981)
Budget: $5,000,000
Grossed: $42,365,600
I don't know if this counts as a B-list movie or not, but I'm putting it on this list anyways. For a movie with Sean Connery I expected more, but holy crap his character played such a minimal role he didn't deserve to be on the cover. The basic plot is a little kid gets a visit from a group of dwarves that time travel across the universe with a map made by the almighty one. He joins them, goes to Greece, meets Sean Connery (aka Alexander The Great), wants to stay, gets taken by the dwarves, meets the devil, kills the devil, goes home, watches his parents die after touching concentrated evil, Sean Connery becomes a fireman that puts out his burning house and winks at the kid. YEAH I DON'T GET IT EITHER.

5. Cheerleader Ninjas (2002)
No box office information available
So this movie exists. While it does have a shocking amount of nudity, that's not what makes this a watchable movie. It's the absolutely hilarious "stunt doubles" that gets me. It's like they aren't even trying. The story line itself is pretty laughable, just watch the trailer and enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3gGRYMTenU

4. Shaolin Soccer (2001)/Kung Fu Dunk (2008)
Budget (soccer): $39,167
Grossed (soccer): $488,872
Budget (dunk): $10,000,000 est.
Grossed (dunk): N/A
I'm going to go ahead and lump these two majestic movies together based on the fact that they're pretty similar. And amazing.
They're both about sport teams that use Kung Fu to master the game and attempt to win a championship. Of course the best thing about these movies are the overdone special effects and ridiculous athleticism that no human being can attain. The story is pretty meh in both, but they're hilarious nonetheless and in the end make enough sense to be great.

3. The FP (2011)
Budget: $60,000
Grossed: $40,557
Holy fucking shit this movie. I honestly have no words to describe the sheer confusion and euphoria I get watching this movie. It's a post-apocalypse, DDR, Hunger Games based movie directed and starred in by a man with an eye patch. Do yourself a favor and watch this fucking movie.
Fun fact: "Fuck" is said over 250 times during this movie.

2. Alien Vs. Ninja (2010)
Budget: $600,000 est.
Grossed: N/A
The epitome of poorly dubbed Japanese movies, AVN is an absolute masterpiece. Just read this review:

"Plot? See title.Low budget? Yep. Filmed on digi-cam? Yes. Terrible CGI? You bet. Men in rubber suits straight out of Power Rangers? Oh man, you've seriously got to see it to believe how cool it is!

Word to the wise: if you can't appreciate flicks like The Story of Ricky, you may not like this. It's an action-comedy, the effects add to the fun, there are plenty of cool bits and if you like kung fu this should leave you pumped-up.

Watch this film!"

This movie is outrageously funny, and there's a scene where ninjas who have been taken over by aliens stand in a circle and just chant "fuck you" for a few minutes. If that's not riveting I don't know what it.

1. Mega Piranha (2010)
No box office information available
This movie is the best. No really, it's the fucking best. When the world is taken over by a mutant strain of piranha that are hundreds times the size of normal piranha, this movie will be a bible. Never before have I laughed so much in the face of absolute danger. It's now the standard to which I hold all B-list movies, and you'll be doing yourself a favor by watching it.
Favorite scene: A tie between piranha jumping out of the water and exploding on contact with a building AND the main character shooting a flare gun into the mouth of a villain and seeing his head explode.
If that doesn't sell you I don't know what will.