"I'm coming home" - LEBRON JAMES

Holy poop, Lebron James is going back to Cleveland. I'll be honest, I didn't think he would do it. I imagined him staying in Miami for another 2 years and then signing with Cleveland to finish out his career there, but he actually did it. He's going home.

Shit man.

News like this, well it takes some time to process. I had a million things pop into my head when I first heard it, but a million is too many things to list. Instead, here are the first 6 things I thought when I heard Lebron was going home.

1. ESPN is absolutely fucking with me.
Like I said, I didn't believe it at first. I heard the news through a friend via text before even looking at ESPN. The text read: "IS THIS REAL LIFE OR IS ESPN FUCKING WITH ME." It didn't even have to mention that this was about Lebron - I could tell. And my first thought was the latter - ESPN is definitely fucking with me.

2. What an idiot.
After confirming the news by looking at ESPN all I could think was "Lebron, WHYYY." I felt like he had 2 more years in Miami. He would have rode out the last glory days of Wade and Bosh and pushed for one more title, then skedaddled after the new TV deal would up max contract values. Boom, hello Cleveland and max money.

3. What a genius.
I read the SI.com article and thought to myself, "I've got it all wrong." Lebron explained himself so well it really caught me by surprise. I know he's a fairly eloquent individual but that essay really captured what he was thinking and turned around my point of view. It was now or never - there was no way he could pull the rug out from Cleveland again. He's no master criminal. He did the right thing at the right time. The Heat are also aging pretty rapidly, and I think Lebron knew it. He might have exhausted his chances to win a title there, it was time to get out.

4. Holy shit that team will be...alright.
Now that it's confirmed, the depth chart looks pretty solid in Cleveland. Of course any team Lebron is on is going to be considered a contender, and this team is no exception. But honestly, it's not as good as some people might think. I scooted on over to fivethirtyeight.com because I knew they would have some breaking articles, and lo and behold I come across this. Taking a look at the projected wins per player the Cavs are on pace for a 52-30 season, good by the Eastern conference standards but nowhere near championship caliber. Just like in Miami this team is looking like it would roll through the East and get smacked in the finals - if they even make the finals that is.

5. Maybe God doesn't hate Cleveland after all?
Honestly, a 52 win season is one of the best things that could happen to Cleveland. Any sort of hope interjected into that city would be magnified by at least a buhmillion based on its crippling depression prior to all this. Lebron isn't looking to win now, he wants to build a championship team. If that's anyone, it's Cleveland. Top pick in the draft 3/4 years, an incredibly talented young roster and wiggle rooms for trades down the road. This team won't automatically contend for a title, but they can build upon their soon to be successful season next year and make it happen. They've done more with less in the past. I BELIEVE!

6. I actually respect Lebron.
Yeah, I have a new found respect for this guy. I never hated him as much as Clevelanders did - I had the luxury of being a Celtics fan during that time. But I didn't respect a man who turned his back on his hometown and a fan-base that was absolutely nothing without him. In the end though, I can't blame him. If Lebron stayed in Cleveland he wouldn't have won a title - his development was being held back there. In Miami he made great strides in offensive efficiency, something he wasn't able to do in Cleveland. He needed the time away to hone his game, just to come home in the end and give Cleveland what it wanted. I think he can do it now, I'm rooting for them all the way.

Also this is the funniest "Lebron returns" reaction I've seen so far.

The best of: Random Word Generator!

Hello all!

I cam across a random.org variant the other day, it's http://www.textfixer.com/tools/random-words.php. The concept is the website generates random words (anywhere from 2-10) in an effort to spark creativity. I imagine a struggling writer feverishly clicking on the "generate" button until that magical alignment of a few words gives them the creative spark to write a new novel. I cal also imagine myself finding enjoyment out of simply generating words until I find a funny/telling/horrible combination.

I did that. Sometimes work is that boring. Anyways I listed the best results from each category (2-10 words). Some are funny, some are creepy and some might actually be the premise of a great story.

2 words

Birthday, Screamer - Too funny. This was my first one, THE FIRST ONE.

3 words

Blockhead, Flamboyant, Bovine - I'm imagining a cow that's a jock, but secretly just wants to do ballet.

4 words

Playground, Alarm, Moaning, Blood - A bit too cryptic for me

5 words

Envelope, Cargo, Jewel, Harm, Brood - A robbery gone horribly wrong.

6 words

Barn-burner, Pimp, Juvenile, Binding, Sleep, Crypt - A pimp attends an exciting even only to agree to a deal where the only escape...is in a BODY BAG.

7 words

Fornicator, Beautiful, Puzzle, Bed, Serenity, Banana, Hottest - This has the makings of a weird porno.

8 words

Proper, Couple, Loner, After, Jerk, Gimmick, Drifter, Bug-house - Some jerk of a con-man tricks a couple into buying something they don't need, it splits them apart and one ends up in the nut house.

9 words

Luxurious, Holiest, Martini, Crisp, Entertain, President, Helpless, Becoming, Cortex - Pope Big-Face can do nothing but dote on the new President by getting him drunk of top shelf vodka.

10 words

Blow, Gradient, Enzyme, Gripping, Bed, Deception, Wizard, Heist, Raccoon, Belt - A little boy is trapped in a dream where a raccoon belt-wearing wizard uses corrosive enzymes to eat through the walls of a bank, pulling off the greatest heist the town had ever seen.

This got really hard as more words were added, but wow it's a lot of fun.

@Midnight: It's good. Watch it!

HELLO!

If you guys haven't heard the news - @Midnight is a fantastic show. Here's the premise: It's a comedy game show hosted by Chris Hardwick (founder of The Nerdist) where a panel of 3 comedians compete in quiz/comedy events. Points are given out (mostly) to comedians with right/funny answers, and then the top 2 highest point getters duke it out in a final event. All in all it's an incredibly entertaining show, it brushes you up on current events and it honestly puts me in stitches. I'm listing some of my favorite games and moments from the show, from slightly less funny but still funny to funniest.

Oh, and the show is available on Hulu and you can watch it at midnights on Comedy Central.

5. CringeWorthy
One of the lightning round games, it's a very simple concept. The contestants get 60 seconds to string together 3 words that make Chris cringe. It's an idea from Reddit that the show borrowed, so they don't get full credit. But the comedians do. Watch it!
This is easily one of the best panels, and Doug Benson is high as balls. My personal favorite (not from this clip) is "Discrete Orphan Rentals."

4. Sweet Emoji
Another great game, Sweet Emoji puts up a few Emoji on the screen and asks the contestants to construct a sentence from them. This round in particular is amazing: Watch it!

3. Chuck E. Cheese or Jail?
This game is fucking hilarious. Apparently the Yelp reviews for Chuck E. Cheese - a kid's wonderland, and jail - you know, jail are eerily similar. Watch it!
This one also has Rhys Darby which makes it even better.

2. #FailedApps - Kumail Nanjiani
One of the best (and recurring) games on the show is #HashtagWars, where the comedians buzz in with funny hashtags based on the category. For the #FailedApps segment, this genius Kumail came up with the "John Wilkes Photo Booth."

1. Boat load of friends - or basically anything with Kyle Kinane in it
So Kyle Kinane (aka the voice of Comedy Central) is a hilarious individual. He's been on the show a few times now, and a "best of" compilation video has been created for him. My personal favorite comes at the 1:50-2:05 minute mark, where the contestants respond to a Facebook event: a racist 21st birthday party.
Watch it!
Boat load. This man is a genius.

Seafood!

HELLO!

In one of my previous blogs (talking about the foods I've grown to love) I mentioned that I would make a list of my favorite seafood. It was kind of meant as a joke, but after this past weekend where I had the most delicious seafood I'll ever have, I decided to make it a reality.

For anyone that doesn't know, Aquitaine (http://www.aquitaineboston.com/) is a French Bistro in the Boston area. Aquitaine happens to have some incredible seafood, specifically number one on my list. I'd recommend you heading over there for some fancy schmancy dining if you're in the Boston area.

This upcoming list isn't complete, I'm trying new stuff all the time! As for right now though, this is the...

OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS LIST OF MY FAVORITE SEAFOOD

1. Lemon Sole Meuniere (from Aquitaine) 
2. Halibut - really any kind. This stuff is delicious.
3. A greasy plate of fish and chips (more than likely the fish is cod)
4. Mussels En Cassoulette (also from Aquitaine) 
5. Fried Calamari
6. Eel sushi 
7. New England clam chowder (not that New York bullshit) 
8. Swordfish
9. Salmon 
10. Lobster
.
.
.
9001. Oysters
.
.
.
90000001. Canned Tuna

The hype is real: My top 6 favorite Ultimate videos

Hey guys,

It's been too long since I've put out a post, as they say life got in the way. I am back now and I wanted to put together a post about one of my serious passions: Ultimate.

One of my favorite things to do when I started playing ultimate was to watch highlight videos of the best players from around the world. It helped me learn what a seriously competitive player looked like and what the pace of a high-level game was like. I've been playing for about 5 years now and I can still learn from pretty much any video out there.

On top of learning, these videos create so much hype. I'm not really one for pump-up music prior to games, I would much rather take a look at one of these videos to get myself in the mindset for a tournament. Take a look at the 6 videos that top my list.

6. Jay Clark: 2012 Ultimate Highlights

This video is absolutely full of hype. Jay Clark has absolutely no regard for his own safety, as evidenced by the egregious amount of layouts in this video. Regardless, Clark is a great player and he showcases a lot of talent throughout the video. I would classify this as less of a learning experience and more of a "I need to get outside and practice my layouts RIGHT NOW" type video.

5. The Janimal

Are you kidding me? This guy is like, 5 feet nothing (I just checked, it's more like 5"8 but whatever) and he's a MONSTER. He can get up with the best of them, skip ahead to :50 for an example. While the video is a bit corny and the production quality is slightly lower than other Callahan videos it gets me going. It's always great to see someone around my size dominate a field of players that could be anywhere form 2-8 inches taller. Jacob Janin is a hype machine with great athleticism.

4. Nick Lance: Callahan 2012

Nick Lance is one of the most talented ultimate players I've seen, and his Callahan video is a clinic on how to destroy hopes and dreams. You can see how effective his upside down throws are at breaking marks and finding the open man, his hucks are pretty pinpoint and he puts his body on the line. As far as the full package goes, this video has it all. The music is also a great complement to the shift in the video from dominating offense to defense. Jay Clark did a great editing job, and as far as production quality it's top notch.

3. 2009 UPA Club Nationals Ultimate Frisbee Highlights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bv7-vq1ta0 (blogger wouldn't let me embed this one)

Unfortunately this video has lost a large majority of its hype due to the banned audio track. But let me tell you that when it was in its pure form this video was AMAZING. It had footage of the 2009 Club Nationals tournament and there was talent all over the field. Seeing the highest level of ultimate being played really made me work harder when I was starting out. I probably watched this video about 50 times during my first semester playing college ultimate, and each time I got more ready to play at a higher level. It's seriously a shame that the video quality is so poor and the music is gone, this one was one of the best.

2. Dylan Freechild - Callahan Nominee 2013

Dylan Freechild is an incredible Ultimate player, and this video is a showcase on how dominant he can be. The song in the video is also one of my all time favorites, I think it meshes with the video content really well. In terms of what you can learn, Freechild has really perfected a lot of the dump-swing moves as well as timing for strike cuts. He's innovative when it comes to creating space and getting open as a handler, something I worked on a lot when playing at college. He's also fast, really fast. His speed helps him dominate games and really puts an emphasis on how important conditioning is. Plus his layout at 3:52 is enormous, his game saving layout at 4:11 is RIDICULOUS, and his spikes are top notch. Also seriously, look at 4:26 and tell me your not impressed.

1. Arizona Men's Ultimate 2013 Highlights

This video is an absolute hype machine. The music, the editing, the skill, the disrespect, all of it comes together to form an amazing video. When I want to get amped up I watch this video. Fuck yeah Sunburn, you guys rock. Reach and go higher.

Tastes and preferences: Ranking the things I used to hate

Hello world,

You know how as a child you refuse to eat something simply because it looks gross? It could be the most delicious thing you've ever eaten, but because you're a stubborn kid you won't let that shit anywhere near your mouth.

I didn't have a whole lot of stuff I didn't eat as a kid, but there are some notable things that I absolutely used to detest that I now involve in my diet on a regular basis. There are in fact 5 things that I can name right now that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole as a child, but now gladly eat/drink them pretty much everyday.

Get ready for a wild fucking ride guys.

5. Cheese (specifically blue)
As a kid I would only eat one kind of cheese: American. If you're not 100% sure what American cheese really is, read this:

That's some 'Murican cheese

"Today’s American cheese is generally no longer made from blended natural cheeses; instead, it is industrially manufactured from a set of ingredients such as milk; whey; milkfat; milk protein concentrate; whey protein concentrate; saturated oil(s); emulsifiers; and salt. Because its ingredients differ so much from those of "unprocessed"/raw/natural cheeses, American cheese can not be legally sold under the name (authentic) "cheese" in the US."

I ripped that straight off wikipedia, which is by far the most reputable source on the internet. Either way, it's kind of gross. Since then I've graduated to more natural cheese, specifically blue cheese. I hated it as a kid, it wasn't processed enough for my taste. It was too tart for me, so I stayed away from it. I cannot believe what I've been missing. Blue cheese is pretty much the best kind of cheese ever. Put it on ANYTHING and it will probably taste better. 

While blue cheese might be the holy grail of cheese, ricotta cheese is still something I detest (and I don't know why!). I've tried it so many times, but even as an adult (which I think I am at this point) I cannot stand ricotta. Unless it's cold and in a sugary cannoli, I will not eat it.

4. Most kinds of seafood
Something went horribly wrong with my palate as a child. I would eat all kinds of fish as a baby, but once I hit the ripe old age of 6 that stopped abruptly. Fish was disgusting to me at that age and I didn't know why. I just knew that I didn't like it and I wouldn't eat it. Eventually that went away and I would occasionally eat a fish plate if it was fried into oblivion or drowned in sauce, but now I actively enjoy and seek out the chance to eat fish. Haddock is probably my favorite, followed by salmon and halibut. It's soooo gooooood.

Might as well be ipecac 

Something that doesn't make sense however, is my lack of love for lobster. Growing up in New England I was exposed to lobster at a young age and it's followed me throughout my whole life. There's nothing like a Maine lobster according to anyone from New England, and yet it's not really my cup of tea. Don't get me wrong, I'll eat and enjoy it. It's just not far up the list of seafood that I enjoy (NEW LIST COMING SOON).

Also I hate canned tuna. That is all.

Shut up an eat it kid

3. Brussel Sprouts
This isn't really all that surprising. Find me a kid who liked eating brussel sprouts and I'll show you 5 that didn't. I wasn't much different, although brussel sprouts and asparagus followed the same pattern that fish did for me. I loved it as a baby (at that time it was "mini-cabbage" and "tubular-lettuce"), wouldn't eat it as a kid, and learned to love it over time. Asparagus is different because I adopted a liking for it at an earlier age, whereas I recently began to like brussel sprouts again. And now I think brussel sprouts are fucking delicious. Mini-cabbage is da bess.

How can you be so delicious?

2. Seltzer water
I really don't know why I started to like seltzer water. It's something that I tried over and over again and just recently acquired a taste for it. My office stocks up on those Polar seltzer bottles and one day I decided to try it and BOOM, it wasn't atrocious. It was in fact, quite delicious. Now I can't get enough of the stuff. It's a change that came on very quickly, where it felt like one day I hated it and the next day it was amazing and delicious. Go figure.

P.S. The mandarin orange flavor is amazing. I could drink a case of that stuff easy.

1. Oatmeal

Look at the variety! Fuck you regular flavored oatmeal

The cream of the crop, oatmeal is something I only recently began to enjoy after years upon years of hatred. The problem is I always wanted to like oatmeal, which I think is kind of weird. I just always saw oatmeal as something you should have for breakfast, but I never found appealing. I tried a bunch of different times and I could never get around the blandness of it. Then I found instant oatmeal. Not the cup based shit, I mean in the packet Quaker Oats instant fucking oatmeal. I cannot get enough of this stuff. It's my breakfast 4/5 days of the workweek. I eat it for a quick snack during the day, sometimes I eat for dinner. I love oatmeal. It's the rib-sticking goodness that gets to me, I just feel like it really fills me up and warms my whole body.

Where have you been all my life? Right in front of me. Only now did I finally see how truly amazing you could be. Oatmeal...I love you.

WHAT?!?! A HEROES RE-BORN SERIES!

Helloooo everybody,

I'm sure some of you saw that Heroes, the NBC show from the late 2000's, is being re-vamped as a mini-series for 2015. Dubbed Heroes "reborn", the creator of the original series Tim Kring will head this separate 13 episode mini-series with a new story-line.

I don't know about you guys, but I really liked Heroes. Except for the last season of course (if you liked it than wow I don't like you), I thought it was a great series with little to no plot development and a whole lot of jumping around that ended up making no sense. It was entertaining above anything, and some of the characters had awesome abilities. So awesome in fact, that I had to rank them for yours and my pleasure. 

So here we go, the top 5 totally awesome abilities that cropped up in the original Heroes series. They aren't the 5 best, they're the 5 that I would most want to have.

5. Adoptive Muscle Memory - Monica Dawson

One of the minor characters in the series, Monica Dawson figures out she can repeat things that she sees other people doing. Most notably it's seen when she stops an attempted robbery at the fast food restaurant she works at by kicking the assailant in the face after swinging around a pole. Monica can learn to do virtually anything her body allows her to, making her ability incredibly useful in certain scenarios. When it comes to fighting people with abilities of their own however, she's pretty useless. If she's not in it for the fight, Monica's ability would be a great one to have.

4. Enhanced Memory - Charlie Andrews
A recurring character in Hiro's saga, Charlie is granted the ability of mega super-duper enhanced memory. She can recall things after a few seconds of glancing at it, shown most notably when she speak Japanese with Hiro. With no prior experience she's able to speak to an ability beyond what her phrasebook could have taught her, and she learned it in a matter of minutes. Being a waitress Charlie finds this ability very useful, and it's practicality for everyday use makes it pretty sweet. Dethroning Ken Jennings on Jeopardy would be a piece of cake.

3. Intuitive Aptitude - Sylar and Samson Gray
The baddest of all the bad guys, Sylar started out with just one single power. From that power he was able to systematically take other abilities and become the ultimate villain. The intuitive aptitude ability is described as: "The ability to analyze complex systems and intuitively understand how they work without special education or training." This ability gave Sylar the means of obtaining specific and useful powers form other the lead to his rise in power. While Sylar used it strictly for evil purposes, when put in the hands of someone who does good it can benefit society as a whole. Imagine fixing any electronic device that breaks? Correcting our national debt? Just don't let the hunger get to you.

2. Empathic Mimicry - Peter Petrelli
I know a lot of people think that this is the best ability because you could theoretically have ANY ability, and that's a good point. I rebut that later on, but for now...
Peter has a pretty awesome ability. Through proximity with another ability, Empathic Mimicry allows you to absorb and use that nearby ability without robbing the other individual of it. The only limitation is that you need other people with abilities to be near you, so without anyone else you're pretty much useless. With people, you could easily become the most powerful human on the planet (as seen in various other timelines where Peter was an absolute bad ass). It's similar to Sylar, minus the hunger and murder.

1. Space-time Manipulation - Hiro Nakamura
"The ability to alter the space-time continuum, including slowing down, speeding up, reversing, stopping, moving backwards and forwards through time, and moving instantaneously through space"
I fucking love Hiro's ability. Really, if people ask me what super power I want to have I answer with this one. I don't need it to fight crime, I need it to make my life easier. There is no more useful ability than space-time manipulation, if used carefully of course. It has the most practical use in our lives by far, and the reason it outguns Peter's ability is because you don't need to rely on anything to use it. 
Think about it: you're given something to complete and you have a strict deadline. FUCK IT. Do whatever you want, and then when it's time to buckle down just stop time. You have FOREVER to finish ANYTHING. I wouldn't even need the "going backwards or forwards in time" bit of it, just the stopping time and teleportation bit. Hiro used it to save the world, I would use it to make life easier. 

Being an adult and why it's awesome/awful

Hey everybody!

Today I'm taking my blog to a media-less direction, and I'm going to list the 7 things I learned about being an adult so far. Some of them are awesome, some of them are terrible. I have to admit that as much as I miss being an irresponsible college student, being an adult has its perks.

7. Doing your own shopping is great

Heck yeah Costco, you're awsome

I don't know if you could consider this a good or a bad thing, but I love doing my own food shopping. Yes of course it's easier at school when everything is prepared for you, but sometimes I get cravings that I used to be too lazy to satisfy. I could be in the mood for pasta (not shitty dining hall pasta, really pasta) and instead of going to the supermarket and buying it, I'd just settle for whatever they had on campus. Now I don't have the luxury of settling, so I buy the things I want and eat the things I want. It's healthier (maybe) and makes me feel better about my, albeit incredibly poor, eating habits. Yay adulthood!
I've also found Costco to be one of the single greatest stores of all time. A big yay for that one.

6. Not being surrounded by friends 24/7 isn't great
This is both a good and bad thing. It might just be me, but I don't have too many friends that live in my immediate vicinity since I've moved out of my parents place. That means if I want to hang out with a friend it usually requires effort, something I don't like to exert often. That leads to a lot of boring weekends where my highlight is not sleeping for 13 hours and doing something productive. So while it's a bummer that I don't always get to have as much fun on the weekends like I used to, it means that my work no longer suffers. Now on Saturdays and Sundays I can actually do some work to put me ahead at my job (which was the biggest lie I was ever told in college, "work on the weekends so you won't do as much during the week."). I guess that's a yay adulthood for being productive, but also a boo adulthood for taking away a chunk of my social life.

5. BILLS are awful

Go home bills, you're drunk

Bills are the worst. I have pretty much all of them set up electronically, so when I open up my email on the days that my electric bill rolls in I cry a bit on the inside. You take a lot for granted when you're at school, mainly things like heat and water. I could shower for 20-30 minutes easy when at school, now it's more of a rare occurrence (although I do indulge in long showers more often than I should.) Electricity is a huge drain on your income as well, watching TV or playing video games for 4 hours straight now affects your bill just as much as your brain. At school I could care less about marathoning 5 episodes of Game of Thrones because I didn't pay for the absurd amount of electricity it takes to do that. Bills snap you back to reality, even if they do teach you "fiscal responsibility" and all that jazz. Boo adulthood.

4. Watching your bank account grow (sort of) is very nice
While I did save some money while I was in school a good portion of my paychecks went to either booze or the occasional dinner with friends off campus. That being said I didn't really accumulate much in terms of savings while in school. Now, the total opposite is happening. My paychecks are much bigger and I don't spend all my money on luxuries, so each pay day I actually see my account increase instead of staying relatively the same. So yay adulthood for sure. I did notice that there is a certain threshold that you reach with your earnings, once you've hit a certain amount in your bank account it's hard to get more on top of it. Bills and other expenses cause your account to stay at close to the same level, even if that level is more money than you've ever had. Growth has its limits, and to that I say boo. Having money to spend though, that's a big yay for adulthood.

3.  A lack of physical activity is common, and bad

Me basically every day

This may just be me, but I have become downright slothful after graduating. Especially during the winter it's hard to find the drive to work out. I've played organized sports my whole life, and that lack of structure makes it hard to get out and exercise. There are a lot of "after work" type leagues that I can join, but that requires money and much more effort in terms of transportation. It could be that I was just really lazy all along and the level of physical activity I did in school was solely a result of my environment, but I don't want to believe that's who I am. Putting in that extra effort to get just as much, if not less exercise doesn't seem worth it to me. For that I have become more couch-potato like every day. I hope that warmer weather brings more exercise, but for now boo adulthood.

2. The hours of 6pm-whenever I go to bed are glorious
When you're at school the general schedule is class, then work, then fun, then bed. It differs from person to person (mine being class, nap, goof off, work, bed), but in the adult world your daily schedule is pretty rigid. You wake up, go to work, go home, do whatever you want, then bed. Your responsibilities basically end as soon as you leave the workplace, and those glorious 6 or so hours you have after work can be spent however you want. It's weird to think that after graduating you actually have less responsibilities, but at least for me that's totally true. That's the biggest yay for adulthood I can give.

1. Adulthood isn't as bad as I thought it would be

Welcome to Adulthood!
Where everything might not be awful.

Have low expectations, it honestly helps. You hear these horror stories of people not able to find jobs, living at home for extended periods of time, wishing they could just go back to school, and above all being miserable. If you really go into graduation thinking like that than actually getting a job will feel so much sweeter. I'm generally an optimist, a fairly large one at that, and I have serious pessimism going into the working world. So when I finally got hired, got my own apartment, started making my own money, and exercising my freedom as a working adult everything felt so much better. Sometimes I wish I could go back to school and make everything "easy" again, but for now the adult world has treated me well. Let's just hope it stays that way.

Dat update doe

Hello all!

It's been a little while since I've posted anything, mainly because I'm busy and that last post kind of ruined my desire to rank things. I am back though, and now that my weeks are slightly less busy (LIES) I'll set aside some time to write a blog post!

A little background before you read this post: I still play Pokemon. Like, a lot. And I play competitively in online tournaments and the like. It's not necessarily my "guilty pleasure" but it's something most people don't really know about me. Since Pokemon X and Y have come out I got a resurgence of desire to play, so of course I bought the 3DS and Pokemon X and there goes approximately 250 hours of my life. On top of that, I play on this website (pokemonshowdown.com, FUCKING GO THERE IF YOU PLAY POKEMON), and that takes more precious hours out of my day. Needless to say, I play a lot of Pokemon.

Anyways, on to my list - a ranking of the Pokemon generations and the games included in each one. I'm not a genwunner, I believe each generation has given us something positive, whether you think the Pokemon look dumb is irrelevant.

6. Generation 4
What it gave us: New evolutions for Dusclops, Magmar, Electabuzz, etc... AND internet connectivity
What was bad: The legendaries, the plot, the main villain/evil organization

Generation 4 series

Generation 4 (aka Diamond, Pearl and Platinum) gave us very little in terms of game development. Yes it added some cool new Pokemon like Luxray and Gastrodon and the new evolutions for some of the OG Pokemon, but in terms of storyline and plot development it's weak as hell. The main villainous group is flawed in their mission, destroy and remake the universe by summoning one of the legendary Pokemon (Dialga or Palkia). DESTROY AND REMAKE THE UNIVERSE. Yeah, that makes sense.

The best part of generation 4 was the internet connectivity piece and it's affect on competitive battling. Giving players the ability to share friend codes and battle/trade with people around the world opened up Pokemon to new meta games and techniques. It jump started the influx of competitive battling seen in later generations.

Game rank:
13. Platinum
12. Diamond/Pearl
8. Heart Gold/Soul Silver

5. Generation 5
What it gave us: Weather based teams/more competitive battling meta game, the best sequel series, harder in-game play, unlimited TM use
What was bad: The main villain (N) and the villainous group

The biggest gripe I had about this generation was N, the second antagonist introduced on top of the main villainous group (team plasma). His goal was to separate humans and Pokemon by splitting them into different worlds. What happened to the good old days where criminals would simply steal Pokemon and sell them for money? I miss the simplicity of Team Rocket. Also, can we please stop with Dragon type legendaries? Seriously, it's getting annoying.

Generation 5 series

The best part of generation 5 was by far the competitive play. Weather based teams ruled the online world, and it made battling fun. The sequel series, Black and White 2, was also the best post-core game sequel made, as it didn't just slap a new color on the box and give you a similar plot line. It actually focused on events two years after the ending of Black and White, which was really cool. Also the in-game Pokemon were way more leveled up, making strategy a necessity for actually beating the main plot-line.

Game Rank:
11. Black 2/White 2
10. Black/White

4. Generation 3
What it gave us: Running shoes, VS Seeker, Battle tower, much enhanced graphics, Pokemon contests
What was bad: Secret bases, not making the Sp. ATK/ATK distinction

Generation 3 series

Hey Gamefreak, just because my move is a fire type doesn't automatically make it a special move. Fire PUNCH doesn't seem like a special type move to me, but hey what do I know?
Also, let's talk about secret bases. Who thought that was a good idea? Yeah I get the whole "promote play between trainers without internet connectivity," but a secret base? LAME.

You know what's awesome? Running. I don't know how I lived without it. You know what else is awesome? The VS Seeker, possibly the greatest item ever created in Pokemon. Fuck grinding on wild Pokemon, use the VS Seeker and battle trainers you've already battled. And their Pokemon get stronger the more you battle them! Genius!
Also Pokemon contests. Strangely addictive, way too much fun. My Aron was a fucking masterpiece.

Game Rank:
9. Ruby/Sapphire
7. Emerald
3. Fire Red/Leaf Green

3. Generation 6
What it gave us: The most complex meta game so far, easy IV checker, possibility of a sequel similar to BW2, mega evolution, easy egg hatching, wonder trade
What was bad: Weather was nerfed beyond all belief, not too many new Pokemon, fucking fairy type

In previous generations special abilities that brought in weather conditions (drought, drizzle, snow warning, sand stream) were permanent on the field until another competing weather condition came into play. And that was awesome. The amount of teams that included a Politoed or a Ninetales in BW2 were through the roof with weather teams being so popular. Now? Now it lasts 5-8 turns like it used to and weather teams have disappeared. Poof, there goes that meta game.

Generation 6 series

Also I despise fairy types. They are so over-powered it's unbelievable. Weak to steel and poison? Oh cool, two fairly uncommon types. Now you need to make sure you run a fairy counter or you're screwed.

You know what's really cool? Mega evolution. It brings relevance back to some long forgotten Pokemon like Kangaskhan, Mawile and Amphoros. They have super cool abilties and typing and totally shake up the tier system, but in a good way.
Breeding is also insanely easy now, you have a reliable IV checker in the game and hatching eggs is super easy (bike in circles around Lumiose city).
There's talk of a potential sequel (like BW2, Platinum, Emerald, Crystal, Yellow) that includes a totally different region. WHAT. Like, new Pokemon and new routes and basically a whole new game. That's mixing it up for the better.
But do you know what the best thing about generation 6 is? Wonder trade. It's the best! You can trade Pokemon via wifi with a random trainer in the world, and it can be any Pokemon you want! I can trade a level 1 Caterpie and get a shiny Blaziken in return! You can spend hours just trading away doubles and/or poorly bred Pokemon to get a surprise in return! That's genius.

Game Rank:
6. X/Y

2. Generation 1
What it gave us: Everything
What was bad about it: Zubat

Generation 1 series

Generation 1 is the start of everything, so it gave us the most by far. I really don't know what to say about it other than it's awesome and set the stage for Gamefreak's future success. There is one problem...ZUBAT. I had nightmares about Mt. Moon and the sheer amount of Zubat in such a small space. Other than that, amazing.


Game Rank:
1. Yellow
5. Red/Blue

1. Generation 2
What it gave us: Breeding, Berries, Dark type, Steel type, 16 gyms, Night/Day, Apricorns/specialized Pokeballs, Mt. Silver post-game
What was bad about it: Whitney's Miltank

Generation 2 series

Generation 2 was an amazing followup to generation 1. They added in so many awesome features like breeding (and the rise of PUNCHZAM!), making your own Pokeballs, fighting all 8 Johto and Kanto gyms, and giving Pokemon berries. You also got to play around with 2 new types in steel and dark, making teams far more diverse and cutting down psychic Pokemon's dominance. You also had to plan your Pokedex searching for night and day, because now only certain Pokemon appeared at different times of the day. It was such a jump from generation 1 that everything seemed so fresh and cool.
Also, the fight on top of Mt. Silver against Red was by far the coolest thing Pokemon has ever done.

And then Whitney and her stupid Miltank ruined your hopes and dreams. Hardest gym battle by far. Other than that, the game was STELLAR.

Game Rank:
2. Gold/Silver
4. Crystal


So there you have it, my ranking of the Pokemon generations and the individual games released within them. Do you agree, or are you a "Genwunner?" Do you even play Pokemon? WHY AREN'T YOU ON SHOWDOWN YET?

Keep it cool guys.

The granddaddy of them all

HELLO READERS!

I finally compiled the list of my top 100 favorite songs of all time. A lot went in to making this list, it took way more thought than I had previously imagined. Special thanks go to Calvin Conklin who gave me the idea, and you can read his cool blog (that is CLEARLY a rip off of my own) here.
He apparently has 2 blogs so I guess you can look at the other one too.

Without further adieu, here they are!

OFFICIAL POWER RANKING OF AJ ALONZO'S TOP 100 FAVORITE SONGS

100-91: The "just made the list-ers"

100. Caillou Rap - Lil’ B

99. On The Radio - Regina Spektor

98. Show Me Your Genitals - Jon Lajoie

97. All I Do is Win - DJ Khaled

96. Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America

95. Always - Erasure

94. Holiday - Vampire Weekend

93. Wonderful - Gary Go

92. Mind Your Manners - Chiddy Bang

91. The Message - Grandmaster Flash

90-81: The "I'm a fan of this, but I'm not shouting it form the rooftop-ers"

90. Whiskey Hangover - Godsmack

89. I'll Make A Man Out Of You - Danny Osmond/Disney

88. Santana DVX - The Lonely Island

87. Insane In The Brain - Cypress Hill

86. Moment of Truth - Gangstarr

85. Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National

84. Remember The Name - Fort Minor ft. Styles of Beyond

83. D.A.N.C.E. - Justice

82. I Love It - Icona Pop

81. Office Musik - Lil' Wayne

80-71: The "I've been known to jam out to these on a regular basis-ers"

80. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous - Good Charlotte

79. Fortune Faded - Red Hot Chili Peppers

78. Reptilia - The Strokes

77. Where'd You Go? - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

76. Pompeii - Bastille

75. Limelight - Rush

74. Wannabe - Spice Girls

73. Soundtrack 2 My Life - Kid Cudi

72. Joker & The Thief - Wolfmother

71. Les Os - The Unicorns

70-61: The "Now we're getting somewhere-ers"

70. It's Tricky - Run DMC

69. It's Time - Imagine Dragons

68. Another Irish Drinking Song - DaVinci's Notebook

67. Fight of the Century - Keynes vs. Hayek (Round 2)

66. Summergirls - LFO

65. On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz

64. What I Got - Sublime

63. Awesome - XV

62. Foux Du FaFa - Flight of the Conchords

61. Sail - AWOLNATION

60-51: The "these are getting tougher-ers"

60. Icky Thump - The White Stripes

59. Misery Business - Paramore

58. Come Together - The Beatles

57. I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage

56. Two Weeks of Hip Hop - Dead Prez vs. Grizzly Bear

55. Ways To Go - Grouplove

54. Spaceman - The Killers

53. Short Skirt/Long Jacket - Cake

52. White Flag - Gorillaz Feat. Bashy, Kano & The National Orchestra For Arabic Music

51. And We Danced - Macklemore ft. Ziggy Stardust

50-41: The "middle of the pack-ers"

50. Unchained (The Payback/Untouchable) - James Brown, 2pac

49. Die Young - Ke$ha

48. Ignition Remix - R. Kelly

47. Right Above It - Lil' Wayne & Drake (shout out to Adithya Manohar for playing this on repeat 9001 times)

46. Lithium - Nirvana

45. Ignorance - Paramore

44. Moves - The New Pornographers

43. YES - LMFAO

42. Wake Me Up - Avicii

41. Womyn - Heems

40-31: The "I regularly sing these in the shower-ers"

40. Shining Star - Earth, Wind and Fire

39. This Year - The Mountain Goats

38. I Feel Fantastic - Jonathan Coulton

37. 19-2000 - Gorillaz (Soulchild remix)

36. Where's Your Head At? - Basement Jaxx

35. Superfast Jellyfish - Gorillaz

34. Get Lucky - Daft Punk st. Pharell Williams

33. In Too Deep - Sum 41

32. Backpackers - Childish Gambino

31. Thrift Shop - Macklemore ft. Ryan Lewis

30-21: The "this is way too hard now-ers"

30. Enormous Penis - DaVinci's Notebook

29. Say It Ain't So - Weezer

28. Ticket To Ride - The Beatles

27. Enter Galactic - Kid Cudi

26. Jellybones - The Unicorns

25. Chelsea Dagger - The Fratellis

24. I'm Bo Yo - Bo Burnham

23. Sing Me Spanish Techno - The New Pornographers

22. Mr. Blue Sky - ELO

21. Some Nights - Fun.

20-11: The "you were so close-ers"

20. Opposite of Adults - Chiddy Bang

19. Wavin' Flag - K'naan

18. Hey Ya! - Outkast

17. Can't Hold Us - Macklemore ft. Ryan Lewis

16. We Are Your Friends - Justice vs. Simian

15. Invaders Must Die - The Prodigy

14. El Scorcho - Weezer

13. Adams Song - Blink 182

12. Stand Up - The Prodigy

11. Midnight Life - The White Panda

10-1: The "cream of the crop-ers"

10. Body Movin' - Beastie Boys (Fatboy Slim remix)

9. Who Did That To You - John Legend

8. All Star - Smashmouth

7. U.F.C. - XV

6. Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runner

5. December - Collective Soul

4. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

3. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz

2. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived - Weezer

1. Rough Gem - Islands

And there we have it! Those are the 100 songs that I would consider to be my favorites. Feel free to rip my list apart, but remember it's all based on opinion. What's everyone else's favorite song? Comment below!